Never Alone
by BadGurl
Summary: Alone in mind, body, and heart


I don't own gundam wing, the name risika, washu, or kagato k? God where the hell have I been!? Any way, I recently got this email from someone wondering through all of Relena's problems what Riuko thought about this. So this is just a short sequal about how Riuko thinks and feels alright?

Never Alone

I loved her. I still love her. My beautiful Risika. I have watched her in both life times, just waiting for my chance to see her look at me as she did Cusho and Heero. She never did. She called me Riuko. I called her my angel. And she was. This Heero Yuy is taking care of her as she sleeps. I watch them from my spot in his tree outside his house. I chuckle as I remeber all the hours she used to spend simply doing as I was doing now. I think I see why she found these little humans so interesting. Their meaningless trivials are funny compared to our missions. Sort of like watching real life T.V. .   
Risika, no, Relena, still thinks I'm dead. I'm not, I've just cut off our link. She didn't need me anymore, she wasn't alone, so what was my purpose to her anymore? It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After Wing Zero destroyed me Washu recreated me just as she did Relena. I didn't want to live, not now, not knowing that she didn't need me anymore. I cried that night, just as she had when Cusho chose another. All I had do to was to search my mind for that little comforting space where the link was hid, and crush it. It was as If I was ripping my own heart out, and I could feel her pain too. That was the last time I ever actually felt what she was feeling.  
Heero reaches out and caresses her hair just as I had done so many centuries ago. That is no longer my privaledge. She has hurt me so many times, so many. Wanting another, abandoning us, killing herself, getting kidnapped and never coming back, chasing after Heero, god the list just goes on. I know she wants to be human. She never will be, not even if she can get the gems out, she was artificialy created, you can't change that. But she thinks she can. Once more she has gone back on her heritage. Becoming nothing more than a common theif. No, not common, a great theif. Still a theif. She has to sneak and steal instead of just taking what she wants, just as she knows she can.  
Why have you done this my little one? You are capable of so much more? This is not the first time she has broken my heart so badly. No, I remember another time.  
  
  
_Flashback  
  
  
  
  
  
_She had made us protect Cusho's family, even after he had crushed her. The battle was soon over but I had gone to make sure the enemy retreated. A few hours later I felt a mind smashing pain that sent me too the ground. I clutched my heart as if someone was tearing it out of my chest. It was Risika! She was in pain! It wasn't physical, not yet at least. But emotional! Who had hurt her? God help them when I find out! I took back into the air and flew toward the war zone where she had stayed to protect Cusho and Relena. I saw the dead body of a young woman, I guessed it was Cusho's wife Relena. Where was Cusho? Where was Relena?  
I felt a sort of pain in my stomach. It was hers again. This time it was physical. What happened? Where was she? What was going on? I managed to locate her using our link. I was slowly coming to a cliff and suddenly felt a sharp pain hit my chest again. It didn't hurt as much as the last one so I knew it was again physical. God Risika, where are you my little one. I landed on the cliff and looked around. Then I spotted something I thought I'd never have to see. Her blood. It was all over the edge of the cliff!   
I raced over and inspected it. Sure enough it was hers. Where the fuck was she!! I quickly looked over the edge. There was blood trailing down the side. Fear took over my body and I leaped off the cliff and flew to the water, smashing into it. Deeper and deeper into the water I flew, praying this was just a trick. A few miles down I spotted her. God she was so beautiful. I floated there staring at her, not believing what I was seeing. She floated up and down, her hair flowing around her like a silk curtain blowing in the wind, Her eyes were closed and her hands hung around her, Her head layed to the side and her legs had some how gone straight.  
She was gorgeous. There was another corpse floating almost touching her own. It was a small fawn. Its legs were tucked under it and its head was leaning toward Risika's, as if still wanting to touch her. I wonder if its better to leave her with her little friend, but I take the selfish decision and grab her away from the dead animal. Its face somehow takes on a look of pain as if crying for me not to take away his friend. I turn my head away and shoot out of the water. I fly slowly back up the cliff, not crying, just letting the tears roll down my face. Her body lay limply in my arms, her had thrown back and her arms and legs slack. God it hurts to much to see my unbreakable love crushed and killed. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It was never supposed to be this way. We were to live for eternity together, or die together. Not her to die alone. Crushed and alone. She had killed herself. My stubborn proud little one had taken the cowards way out.  
I put my head up in a proud manor as I carrie her back to Washu's lab. I just cannot bare to look at her anymore. I cannot bare to watch my perfect proud little tiger, turn to a timid kitten. It's too much for me. I drag myself into Washu's lab. "Washu! Mother, I've brought her back." She whips around, ready to yell at her daughter for abandoning us, but she stops as she sees her slack form in my arms. "Wa-" "No" She interupts."Please-" "I said NO damnit!!" SHe screeches. I once more try to explain but am cut off with a quick slap to my jaw. It didn't hurt, just made me feel what she was feeling.  
I watch as the brave scientist falls to the ground ripping her daughter from my arms and sobbing into her chest. "get the tank." She whispers. "Wash-" "GET THE TANK DAMNIT!!" I hold my tounge and walk off to get as she requested. Once more, memories plague my mind as I see the tank in which we were both created.  
  
_Flashback2_  
  
I am floating, that much I know. I see nothing and I instantly become anxious and slightly afraid. I can't move, I have no energy! Whats going on! Let me out! I want to be free! 'Calm down.' A voice is speaking to me. I feel her. Its very soft and femenin. 'Who are you?' 'I don't know, but please calm yourself, your making me dizzy.' 'you can feel that?' 'I can feel all that you feel.' 'How?' 'I don't know. I know just as much as you.' 'Your voice is pretty.' 'Thank you.' 'How much longer do we have to be in here?' 'I don't know, I think we still have quite a while though.' Silence. 'I don't think I can take that long.' She hesitates a moment and then sends me her thoughts once more. 'I'll stay with you.' 'Promise?' 'As long as you need me.' 'Then you'll stay forever.'  
  
It is a long time before I feel whatever is keeping me afloat depart from me. It scares and excites me! I feel adrenalin rush through my vains! Where is the girl! I can't hear her anymore! I grow angry and open my eyes! A feature I had not known I could do. A man with white hair, glasses and yellow eyes glowers at me with disapproval. I don't give a damn wether he approves of me or not, I just want the girl back! I notice I am wearing nothing but a pair of black spandex boxers. I am about to blast the man when I hear something! I look over and see my girl laying on a matel platform that used to be her tank similar to mine.  
She uses her arms to support her and looks to the pink haired woman who has tears in her eyes and is beaming with pride. It makes me smile too. She looks over to me as if seeing me for the first time. I suppose she is. She is too far away for me to touch her, but she smiles at me and that is all I need for now. The next few days we learn our names and what we will be used for. The rest is just a blur of passion and excitment.  
  
_Endflashback2_

_End All flash backs  
  
  
_ God it hurt. It all hurt. I will reveal myself to her one day. And once again ask for her love. Yes This Heero soldier will be competition, but I suppose I will be able to risk it. I leap out of the tree and head toward my own apartment. Relena. Yes, that is who she is now. But she is still my little one, so it does not matter what she calls herself, just what I call her in my heart. She thinks she is alone. Not by a long shot. She thinks she bears all this pain and wieght of the world on her shoulders alone, but no, I take them onto my shoulders also. She thinks that she is the soul carrier of her secret. Again she is wrong. I will carrie her secret with me also. This is not her secret alone. This is _our _secret.


End file.
